How to STOP Your Inner Critics?

We each have our inner critics, gremlins, nagging voices - the negative messages you send to yourself. What can you do abut them? How can you make them stop?

Here are the most popular inner critics I’ve heard over the years:

• I always procrastinate
• I never finish what I start
• I’m too shy
• I’m too slow
• I get overwhelmed

What is your experience when you hear messages like these popping up in your head? Perhaps you hear them all the time. Well, I guess you feel really bad about yourself after such internal judgments. Your inner critics tend to wake up other creatures as well – doubts, worries, fears, and frustrations. And together they suck all your energy to make sure you feel completely worthless.

There is a remedy against your inner critics! Ask yourself the following question:

Why is this behavior good?

Play devil’s advocate for a while. Remember the times when this behavior turned out to be really good for you.

• Maybe there was a time when after delaying and delaying, the issue just went away, so you saved time.
• Think of all the great things you could start, experiment with, and learn from even if you never completed them.
• I’m sure you can remember a time when you were grateful that you stayed quiet. Did it keep you safe? Did it allow you to observe and learn before taking an action?
• What was the situation when you spotted something important just because you took your time?
• Perhaps getting overwhelmed warned your body that it’s time to change gears, switch your focus to something else, look for resources, or take a break.

How strong are these memories? I’m sure you can find great examples of situations when the behavior you are now so critical about was exactly the right thing to do.

What keeps us stuck in the same behavior is often our own resistance. We’re trying to fight it so hard that we actually keep the message and the behavior alive. Kind of like saying to your kid “Don’t run!” which actually reminds him of “running”.

Instead of resisting, acknowledge that you are choosing your behavior for a reason. You wouldn’t act that way if it didn’t work for you (at least sometimes), right?

Next week I’ll dig into what do to if you want to change your behavior. Stay tuned ☺