How Can You Change Your Behavior?

Now that you know how to stop your inner critics, you may still want to change some of the things you don’t like about your behavior. How would you go about that?

Maybe you want to be more proactive instead of procrastinating. Maybe you want to start finishing your projects instead of putting them away half done. What is it that you want to be more of or better at?

This is how to do it:

1. Clarify how you want to be – What’s the behavior I desire?When we want to change something, we know exactly what we don’t want anymore. But what do you want instead? How do you want to be? How do you want to show up in the world? What behavior or a habit do you want to develop?
      
2. Remember the examples from your life - When was I doing it? There must have been a situation when you did something right away, when you finished something, when you felt energetic, when you knew exactly what needed to be done, when you were brave… Bring up that memory. Where were you? What were the circumstances?
      
3. Collect the motivators – What made me behave that way?
   Catch as many clues as possible from the times when you were behaving the way you want. Maybe you made a promise and felt accountable. What was different about that particular situation that made you act against your usual behavior? Was timing the main factor? Was it the place, light, the people around? Were you under some kind of pressure?
      
4. Recreate the experience – How can I recreate that behavior?
   Now that you have the clues, bring them to life. You might have realized that when you have limited amount of time, that’s when you tend to prioritize the best. In that case, create that scenario. Put the timer on 30 min and play a game with yourself. Maybe you’ve realized that the main factor was telling a friend. If that’s the case, tell someone what you’re going to do and ask them to follow up with you. Perhaps you’ve found out that you need to create a sense of safety. Look at the risks and how you can minimize them if that’s what blocking you from being who you want to be.

Changes are hard. Especially the ones related to our behavior. Be patient with yourself. The old habits took time to develop, so the new ones will need some time too. Celebrate the little wins and forgive yourself for the setbacks. Make it fun. Make it a game you can play with yourself. You will win either way.