Perception Is Reality! Can I Be Authentic?

We are taught that if we want to be seen a certain way, we have to behave accordingly. But what about being authentic?

When you feel the need to behave a certain way, examine your motivation. Is it fear of not being enough? Survival? Is this your way to get back at someone? Is it to finally show others your best self?

When your motivation to choose a behavior is based on negative emotions, you’re more inclined to “play a role”, to get away from who you are, and to bend your authenticity. “I won’t get this training job unless I somehow show them that I’m an extrovert, even though I’m not.”

When your goal is to be the best you can be and invite new opportunities, you’ll dig into behaviors that are deep inside you, that are based on your strengths. “I’ll be honest and respectful when providing feedback to my manager, so that he can see my potential.”

Here are just 2 risks of not being authentic:

• Betraying yourself - You are pretty much saying to yourself “I’m not good enough the way I am and unless I can be this other way, I am worthless”. You are forgetting that you will never be as good at pretending as you could be at being yourself.
• Betraying others - When people perceive you a certain way, they’ll have certain expectations. Pretending takes energy. That’s why great actors get paid really well. At some point you collapse into your own way of behaving. People around you will be confused. The trust you’ve created will be lost and the building blocks on your way to success will crumble under your feet.

You can be authentic and at the same time selective about your behaviors. That way you create a perception that is real.