These are very much in your face, causing distractions, bringing overwhelming feeling to your life to the point that there may not be space for anything new and exciting.
But what about the clutter you may be creating for other people? How many times did you tell somebody “Sure, I’ll call you later…” and never called? Or when you said, “We should not talk about that during this meeting, but we should follow up …” and then you did nothing hoping that someone else would be the “we” in your statement. Have you ever promised someone something by a certain time, but then somehow forgot to tell them when the plan changed?
Even if you are not aware of ever doing this, I’m sure you remember when it was done to you. Why is that? Because it feels really bad! It’s like if someone dropped you off by a road and told you they’d come back to pick you up and then never did. There you are, waiting, hoping, not knowing whether to stay or go… And it’s hard to complain about it too, because the person who dropped you off may shower you with all sorts of reasons why they couldn’t do it, and in the end you may even start feeling sorry for them. And sometimes they make it seem like your responsibility (“You could have just left, right?”), which makes you feel like a fool.
Why don’t we just stop doing this to each other? If you said you’d call, own it and make the call or contact them somehow. Even if it’s a simple text message. “Sorry, kind of busy today, will call you tomorrow instead.” Be real for once: “Sorry, changed my mind and don’t want to do it anymore,” or, “Don’t wait for us and just go with your plan, because we cannot make a decision here,” or even, “Shoot, I forgot!” Don’t just let it slide hoping no one will notice. They’ll notice just like you would.
We all need this from each other. Instead of playing the victim and standing by the road, you can call the guy. “Hey, where are you? You promised to come back in 10 minutes.” Demand the answers, “Are you going to do this or not? When?” and ask for ownership. “Who exactly will take on this task?” Remind people: “I’m counting on your answer you’ve promised by tomorrow.”
I really believe life can be easier if we stop sending empty promises to others and to ourselves and if we just follow up.
And with your clutter around the house? Different approaches will work for different people. But it definitely needs proactivity. One method that works for me is to ask myself, “What do I really want to do with this?” I’m always amazed how many “important projects” end up in the garbage can or the paper shredder after I’m finally willing to accept the truth. And to feel the space created after the clutter is gone? That’s just priceless.
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